9 Tips on Becoming a Master of Your Mind
1. Mind Mastery starts with working towards expanding our awareness so that our attitudes and decisions can come from a place of making conscious choices, rather than being dictated by the unconscious patterns composed of habits, education, fears, or social conditioning.
In order to work on expanding our awareness, we need to engage in the process of observing our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Self-observation will lead us to being aware of the causes and consequences of our thoughts, feelings and behaving. As a result of this awareness, we can: choose whether to act upon our thoughts and emotions, expand and modify our beliefs about ourselves and the world and become more than we thought we are.
2. Staying grounded is about accepting life as it is and experiencing it in the present moment. It will lead us towards becoming more self-assured, adaptable, at peace and in flow - rather than struggling against self- or socially imposed limits.
In other words, instead of following all our thoughts and feelings automatically and unconsciously - which often pull us into either totally abstract realm that has nothing to do with reality, or into the past or the future – we need direct our awareness to the present moment whenever we can so that we can make conscious decisions and tune to the natural flows of life.
3. Paying attention to and striving to understand our feelings and emotions can free us from automatic reactions, challenging mental states or dissociation.
By listening to our feelings, we expand our awareness and gather additional insight into ourselves and other people. When we pause and reflect on what we are feeling and why, we give ourselves an opportunity to listen to the non-verbal part of our being that is associated with values, instincts, intuition and emotional intelligence.
4. Taking responsibility for what we do can free us from the chains of self-loathing, victimhood, anxiety and disempowerment. This process involves setting up personal boundaries, distinguishing what you can and cannot control, paying attention to how you attribute the causes of your feelings and behaviours and being honest with yourself and others.
Instead of searching for the causes of our feelings, mental states or experiences in other people or some invisible forces such as luck or fate, we need to go back to the centre of ourselves and recognise that we are the source of our feelings and reactions, and that we are in charge of our own lives. Doing so will open the doors towards improving your actions and learning from mistakes.
5. Every situation and experience you are presented with contains an opportunity for learning and expansion of your awareness. The more responsibility you take for who you are and what you do, the easier it will be to reflect on and learn from your experience because you can change only what you accept as a part of yourself. You can only master what you are aware and in charge of.
6. There are things you can and cannot control. If you try to control the things that are actually beyond your control, you will waste your time and energy that could be spent on controlling the things you are responsible for. For example, you can control your actions, how you respond to what happens in your life, what to do with your feelings or emotions.
Things you cannot control include actions of other people or their personalities, how you are perceived by others, every single outcome of your actions. Even if you aim right and do your best, there is no guarantee that you will get what you want as there are too many variables to control. Therefore, the most we can do is to always strive to do the right thing regardless how favourable or unfavourable our circumstances are. By focusing on the process, rather than the outcome, we can spend our time and energy on perfecting our actions.
7. Coming to terms with not knowing and ambivalence will make you lighter, more adaptable and more open towards learning.
Adopting a beginner's mind will help you to accept uncomfortable truths and support you in learning from mistakes. Integrating our shadow is rarely pleasant, but if we allow ourselves to be humble, accept the fact that we are in a constant process of learning, and dare to take a peak beyond our comfort zone, we will spare ourselves a lot of pain and suffering resulting from making our unconscious conscious.
Life rarely presents us with a clear answer. It might be anxiety provoking but paradoxically, the more we open ourselves to ambivalence and not knowing, the more clarity and certainty we can gain.
8. Listening to our bodies and tuning in to the natural rhythms and flows of life is an integral part of mastering our minds. There are times when we are more active or when we need more rest. We are a part of the natural world that flows between cycles and seasons. Following our own cycles and seasons can help us to get into the flow of life.
Paying attention to our needs is an essential element of mind mastery and self-care. Gestalt therapy theory states that for as long as we allow our need to go unfulfilled, it will keep bothering our mind by narrowing our perception down to what we have to do in order to meet that need. Satisfying our needs will enable us to feel more open to different experiences and life in general.
9. Lastly, truth and authenticity is an essential element to connecting all other elements on the path to becoming a master of our own mind. In order to take the right actions, you need to make sure that your understanding of yourself and the situation is correct. And the best way to making sure our understanding is correct is to seek and live truth.
Being honest and authentic involves creating harmony between your perception and senses, feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. It also involves a process of self-examination and paying attention to any self-deceptions and cognitive biases we might be subjected to.
If you'd like to work on mastering your mind with a certified Mind Mastery coaching psychologist, get in touch and schedule your free consutlation.